Happy New Year

2011 has been a year of ups and downs. But perhaps that’s the way life always is.

Through his first bout with pneumonia and his first trip ever to the ER, to the loss of his Aunt Sara in April in a tragic car accident, to the anxiety of postponed surgery and his eventual trip into the operating room; Zane has ended the year healthy and strong. He celebrated his fifth birthday with the three of us and his grandparents in Florida, which was extremely special.

When Zane was born in 2006, I discovered that life is meant to be lived in the moment. There is no promise of tomorrow. 2011 reinforced that notion with the untimely death of Sara at age 36. This year I have learned that life is not about the accumulation of stuff or accomplishments or money; it is not about getting a book published or squirreling away time for myself. It is about love. Loving family, friends, and (yes) neighbors even if they do leave junk out in their yards. It is about cherishing the precious time we have with each other. Granted, we need to put food on the table and plan for the future to some degree. But I think many of us (me) grow tunnel vision when working toward goals or when viewing life as a whole.

Love and compassion. That is my lesson from 2011. I hope to carry it forward into 2012. I wish you all a happy and blessed New Year.

Florida

For Zane’s fifth birthday this year, we traveled to Florida with my parents to celebrate in the place where he was born: Cape Coral/Ft. Myers. It was Zane’s first flight. We were very nervous about spending four hours in the air with him. Zane is not a big crier, but he often vocalizes. Very loudly. At times, it is impossible to quiet him down. But we were thrilled by how well he did. And he truly seemed to enjoy the experience.

We visited the hospital where Zane was born. A flood of memories returned as we drove the same route, walked through the same front doors we left behind five years ago, spied the children’s memorial we once visited, and rode the elevator to the floor that holds a wide breadth of emotions for us. But we reconnected with one of the neonatologists and three of the nurses we came to know well during Zane’s 17-day stay in the NICU: Heather, Karen, and Peggy. We loved seeing them again! They treated Zane and our family with so much respect and love that we will always cherish them. We met and chatted with them outside the family room where the news of Zane’s trisomy 18 was delivered to us. Neither Jeff nor I even ventured a peek into the room. And that was okay. Some things are better left to the past.

The trip would not have been possible without the generosity of my parents. Thank you to them for sharing the anniversary with us. Also, many thanks to my Uncle Frank for allowing us to use his vacation home in Cape Coral: the same home where we lived for a short time before and after Zane's birth.

Happy Fifth Birthday, Zane!

Zane is celebrating his fifth birthday in Florida—the state where he was born. For a child who was given a prognosis of only a few months, he is most certainly doing better than expected. We’re so grateful to be able to celebrate with him! We love you, Zane!!! Happy Birthday, Zaner!