The Most Miserable Place on Earth

I had high hopes for the Magic Kingdom. I really did. But the reality tied to expectations is predictably unpredictable. As part of Zane’s fifth birthday celebration, I arranged for all of us to go the Orlando, mainly with the idea of visiting Disney World. More than anything, I wanted Zane to experience the Main Street Electrical Parade and the fireworks—both things I knew he would enjoy.

While Downtown Disney was fun, albeit crowded, the same cannot be said for Casa de Mickey. Because there, it was jam-packed, too. Except the jam-pack-ed-ness took away from the fun. Despite Zane having a free pass to go to the front of the line on most attractions, he only visited three of them: Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor (where, in fact, he did crack up); the Mad Tea Party (glorified, spinning tea cups), which he was both hot and cold on; and the Haunted Mansion (he wasn’t impressed).

A lot of the morning was spent doing the following things: riding the bus to the park, navigating the crowds, changing diapers, and hooking up his g-tube feed. By the time the three above-listed attractions were over, so was Zane. Jeff took him back to the hotel around 3:00, and I didn’t see him again until nearly bed time. No light parade. No fireworks. Goodbye expectations.

My dad, Justin, and I stayed in the park into the evening, but endured some pretty long lines. The Christmas lights and the fake, falling snow on Main Street were pretty impressive. But even we cut out early. Space Mountain had an 85-minute wait, and people were setting up residence on Main Street at 6:30 for the parade. Zane would have been stuck behind the big-headed man. I just know it. So…lesson learned.

To Disney’s credit, the Magic Kingdom treated Zane and our family well. The shuttle drivers were wonderful! They gave us five-star treatment. Also, there were no issues with Zane bypassing the long queues, as a long wait was something he most definitely would not have tolerated. The bottom line: It was simply too crowded during Christmastime.

So, going forward, I will keep my expectations in check. Aside from the one day, the rest of our time in Orlando and on the Disney grounds was a good experience.

Zane with Mickey ears