The Best Laid Plans

It was a beautiful weekend. I spent time with my family; played baseball with Jus; read to, exercised with, and held Zane. Plus the weather was amazing. I didn’t write like I usually do.

So coming out of the weekend, I had lofty plans for meeting high word counts and devoting this morning before work to my writing projects. But the one thing I’ve learned to count on is to not really count on anything.

At midnight last night, Zane woke up coughing. This typically is a precursor to vomiting. And vomit he did. Initially, I thought it was because of his new formula, which he started this weekend. But as he coughed and spit up, he also went into a seizure. I think it was the precipitating factor for his vomiting to begin with. He hasn’t had a seizure since December 31^st. And his seizures have always remained under two minutes. Last night, it was around five minutes long.

The neurologist's instructions are to administer diazepam after three minutes of seizure activity. He didn’t get the diazepam. I struggle with these things because it truly is not fun or exciting or anything good to have to go to the emergency room (especially at midnight—I know because I’ve done it before with Zane). And administering diazepam would feel like an emergent situation. 

Fortunately, the seizure abated. However, Zane does this silent cry thing during some of his seizures, which is really heartbreaking. He did that last night, along with some whimpering. I decided to sleep in his bed with him to make sure he was okay. One of the fears of seizure is aspiration. I didn’t want him to vomit again and aspirate, which often leads to death.

I stayed for two hours. Zane settled down during that time, but would not go to sleep. I honestly don’t think he wanted me in his bed. Once I left, he dozed off.

He woke up happy. But as we were heading out to school this morning, he had another small seizure. The school staff is familiar with his seizures, so I told them to call if this continues today.

So instead of writing, I’m off to call the neurologist. She wants to know whenever Zane has a breakthrough seizure—something she wants to absolutely avoid. My mind, as you can probably imagine, is not in my manuscripts right now. It is with the well-being of Zane. Then when I worry about Zane's well-being, I naturally throw Jus. in the mix for fun, hoping he will be safe and well today, too.

So as Robert Burns penned in his poem, To a Mouse, “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men/Gang aft agley.” Yes, the best laid plans often do go awry.