Happy 7th Birthday

The last seven years have changed me and my life dramatically. Challenges? Yeah, there’s that. But mostly I focus on what’s positive about having Zane as my son and in my life.

I once had a mother refer to Zane as a “burden”.

(He’s not).

At the mall—out in public—where people don’t know him at all, I’ve received those sympathetic looks. I don’t know if you’ve ever been the recipient of them. Hopefully not. It’s the look that says so much without words: “I feel sorry you have to take care of him” or “What a sad life you must lead with that child in your life.”

(I don’t want those looks. Don’t need them).

I’ve had people (friends even) who ignore Zane as though he’s a fixture in the room. Who don't even acknowledge him or even ask me about him--even though we may spend an hour or so together with Zane at my side.  

(I realize it may be their lack of comfort with his differences—I was once there myself).

And people who speak around Zane or for him—“Zane doesn’t care about that anyway”—as if they are the experts as to what goes on inside his head.

(I work hard to remind myself it's their own ignorance in presuming incompetence over competence).

But in the end, those people don’t matter. Because the truth is, people who really know Zane—those who take the time to truly get to know him—treat him with respect and would never say or do the things I’ve listed. And, to his and my great fortune, we’re surrounded by people who respect him, love him, and treat him as a person who does understand what's being spoken to or around him.

That said, Happy 7th Birthday to a little boy who has been my greatest teacher and has given me so many smiles and so much love over the past seven years.

I love you with all of my heart, Zane.